Always shart first

I can tell you everything I need to know about a person based purely on their start word in Wordle. Sure, everyone has the luxury of five guesses, but it’s the first one that counts most.

It’s not just about strategically eliminating the most common letters in the English language to get the win. It’s about character. It’s about style.

It’s about believing in something bigger than all of us.

And I believe that one day the Wordle gods will bless me with a perfect start word.

But today is not that day. So let’s get into it:

Just Three Dudes

Watching the new HBO documentary Smartless: On The Road, I wasn’t so much captivated by the comedy of it all… What I found as I watched was that I was extremely attracted to the dynamic of Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes’ friendship.

The honesty, the vulnerability. The way that they share in a secret language, of sorts, in how they use humor to communicate.

On the surface, it’s just three dudes on the road traveling. But no- It wasn’t just three dudes.

It was evident that they are three close friends. In the ways they hold themselves, in the ways they argue, and in the ways they see each other in themselves. And I quickly found myself craving something similar.

This isn’t to say that I don’t have friends¹ . It’s just that I crave a certain depth in my friendships.

Sure, I have dinner friends and parent friends and work friends and brewery friends and online friends and gaming friends² . And they each play a role in making my life more fulfilling, and hopefully I do the same in return for them.

But life, and everything that comes with it, has stolen some of the intensity that comes with my friendships. The intensity that comes with letting people see themselves in you - or yourself in them. Your best self and your worst self.

Relating to each other, entirely.

But maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m not vulnerable enough. Maybe I compartmentalize too much of my life. Maybe, just maybe, I could benefit from blurring the lines a little.

But what I think it truly comes down to is this: friendship is like the glitter of human interaction. Children have no problem with it. They can get messy and have fun without reservation. But as we get older it gets tougher to make time for it.

Sometimes, I feel like I don’t know how to play with glitter anymore.

I guess there is a silver lining, though. Because no matter how much time passes, those shiny little pieces of shit stick around forever. At least some of them.

^{1 . I like, totally, have so many friends. Like probably a million friends. Huge friends. The friendliest group of friends ever.
2 . And coffee friends and brunch friends, and … SEE! I have so many friends. The most.}

Things I’d share with you, if we were in a group chat:

Until next time. - cd